Some may say this is a somewhat public way to write a letter to you and of course it is, I could just sit down and talk to you but I wanted to do this for a reason. We’ve lived our lives out through the blog a lot this last while and people won’t know that I have no idea what you have written until it goes live. I wanted to let me people see a little of what I see….
From the moment I knew I was pregnant with you, you were wanted. I ignored health advice and believed that you were what I had waited for my whole life. When you were born so tiny and fragile, your granny and I cried for our hearts were broken at the thought you might not survive, however you mended them because you had the fight and the will to survive.
When I read your blog this week I felt I had to respond, I never never ever want you to feel guilty for anything cookie, every achievement you make, I feel just like I’ve made it too. When I look at you I see this beautiful young lady with insecurities and lack of confidence but Rhanna you are beautiful sweetheart because that beauty come from the inside and shines on the outside. As you grow you are becoming more confident and you are finding your feet, I believe with my all my heart you will achieve your dream and become the actress you long to be.
I know you are scared, we both know about brave faces and staying positive but I want you to remember this, first and foremost I’m your mum, its my role to look after you so never be afraid to come to me with a problem because you don’t want to tire me out or upset me. My biggest fear is leaving my baby girl, of breaking her heart but I want you to know that no matter where you go in this life I won’t be far away from you, I’ll be watching over you and I know that you will be okay because Andy promised me. A promise made is a promise kept.
You are 16 cookie, you should never feel guilty for enjoying life, I want you to live and laugh and dance and sing and above all else I just want you to be you…. I PROMISE you that I will fight MSA for as long as I can but when I can’t anymore, it doesn’t mean I’m not there cookie because I will be….firmly rooted in your heart as you are in mine.
So this is why I wrote so publicly, because I am so remarkably proud of my little girl and the young lady she is growing to be and I want to share that pride, that everlasting bubble of happiness you bring me and the glow of warmth I feel when I say your name…. Rhanna Samantha Crawford,
I love you cookie, all the way to the moon and back xxxx